I just got off the phone with my mom, who told me I have a new cousin. He's not really my "cousin", I don't think. He's one of those relations involving second or third and three times removed and a voodoo curse involving a chicken's foot or some such. There's a weird dynamic with the cousins on that side due the ages of the generations, so we don't call anyone by what their actual relation is, maybe I'll go into it sometime. (okay, you tell me what he is. His father is my mother's first cousin.) His name is Christopher, he was born yesterday, and that's all I know. I'll probably go up to see the family in a few weeks when things settle down. My mom and her aunt (Christopher's grandmother) are going to the hospital this evening but I'm still fighting this head cold so I turned down the invitation to join them.

Then she asked me about some things she's come across in the house that once belonged to me. Now, I'm a bit of an insane sentimentalist. Some call it being a pack-rat, and I guess that fits too, but whatever. I've gotten loads better in recent years at getting rid of stuff I really just don't need, and saying no to my mom when she tries to give me stuff that I'm sure I once saved for whatever sentimental reason or just because it was cool. Today the old sentimental side clashed with the newer more practical "you don't need it" side, and it's an odd feeling.

Mom: Do you remember that sleigh you brought home from shop class?
Me: Uh. No?
Mom: Well, do you want it?
Me: Is it nice? (I don't think I made it, I think it was in the room of abandoned projects and I thought it was cool- see above)
Mom: It's just plywood, but it's nice. It has a broken runner, but I have the piece and can fix it.
Me: Oh. Um, no thanks.
Mom: What about your German tapes? Do you want those?
Me: Yes, I do want those. I actually know where my German book is (Deutsch, Na Klar!).
Mom: You can give yourself a refresher.
Me: That's the plan. (I took German in college, and at the moment all I can remember is counting, the alphabet and how to conjugate the phrase "I am")
Mom: Do you remember that scotty dog candle that came from Grandma's?
Me: Gertrude?
Mom: It has a name?
Me: Well, Dad would never let us call it Gertrude, but yeah, it has a name (give me a break, I was 7).
Mom: Do you want it?
Me: Yes. No. Yes. Wait, which Grandma? (I was pretty sure I knew but wanted to make sure)
Mom: Grandma D.
Me: Yeah, I want it.

I don't need this candle. I don't know what I'd do with this candle other than put it on a shelf and let it gather dust like it has at my parents' house for the last 23 years, yet I still want it. It's the thing that my seven year old self chose from the house when she died, and I'm not sure how to let go of that. I was so young when she died that I only have flickers of memories of her. I already know that that candle is just going to be one of those things that down the line my kids (should I have any) will roll their eyes at me wanting to keep- I know because I've done it to my own mother enough times. But that candle is my tangible memory of my grandmother, just like the box of owl stationery is my tangible memory of my grandfather (even though it is currently lost in a box and has been since I was 11, but my dad swears he brought it home for me). Is it crazy to keep items you'll never use because they're tied to memories that grew dusty a long time ago? Do you have anything like that?

How awesome is this new design? It was Brad's idea to do a full redesign instead of just redoing the header. He put in so much hard work on this that I just can't thank him enough. Seriously, Brad, THANK YOU. He handled me and my indecisions and multiple change requests and "what if we..."s with considerable grace, which is just another reason he is so fab.

Also contributing to this was the great base design by Caz, and the amazing photo in the header by Flickr user Erika Verg.

There are still a few kinks to be worked out on the back end, but isn't it pretty??

The Couch to 5k starts tomorrow. My running clothes are laid out on top of the box containing my running shoes. My ipod is charged and filled with upbeat tunes. My phone is next to my bed ready for my wakeup call, and hopefully tomorrow I will not attempt to answer my DVD remote like I did this morning. It's 11pm and I need to go to sleep- 2 hours before I normally close my eyes- because 6am is freeekin *early*.

*UPDATE* 7:18 am: Well, some systems were go. The ipod had no juice this morning, but I managed. Now, I think I'm going to curl into a ball and die.

As you may or may not have noticed, my header is under a bit of construction. Bear with me for a few days while Brad helps me (read: Brad does with my suggestions) get it just right. The old header was never designed to be the masthead for 3 years like it has been. Anyone have comments, concerns, or helpful suggestions?

And I actually mean that. The Christmas funk is over and I'm launching myself with zeal into the new year. I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, I think they're sort of dumb and no one keeps them anyway, but this year I'm making some, and I'm putting them here so that I have a written record.

1. Finish the Couch to 5K and be running regularly by the end of March. I started it in like, September and the first couple of days kicked my ass so I gave up. I want to really give it my all- I know I can do it. Even if it means running on the treadmill that I hate.

2. Take a picture a day. I've seen the 365 group on Flickr, but a year of self-portraits isn't me. So I'm just going to take a picture of something that shows my world or what I've been up to, or what I'm feeling.

3. Stick to my food plan. Life got so busy the last couple of weeks that fast food and junk food made their insidious way back into my life. It's time to shove them back out for good.

I think there were more things, but it's late and I sort of can't feel my fingers right now, so I'll post more later if I remember what they were.