I missed my Thursday morning meeting today. I had the evening from Hell last night and didn't get to sleep until after 1am. there was no way I was getting to a 7am meeting. My friend Charlie called me after to check in and tell me I was missed and that he hoped I was doing well.
Doing well. Hmmm... Last time I checked, I had lost 14 pounds. I'm pretty sure I've put a few of those back on. I've been pretty careful about what I eat during the workday, but my time outside of work has been so jam-packed lately that I've been letting myself make excuses. Fast food has slipped back in in the last few days as the only thing I have time for as I race from location to location. I need to knock that shit off, and I need to do it NOW. I was doing so well, and I need to not let the attitude of "it doesn't matter" creep back up. I hadn't had sugar in a month until yesterday. I was really proud of that. But sugar has crept back in too.
Addiction is a funny thing in that you feel like you're over it, so you let your guard slip a little, and BAM! I've had a few minor slips that I applied the phrase "imperfect abstinence" to- which is where you're following a food plan and working your program, but no one is perfect, we all slip, it doesn't mean you're not doing your best. But I've definitely broken my abstinence this week, and so the count begins again today, right now.
Hope you can come tomorrow morning!!
PS - Read my latest post. it's a message from your disease to you.
Welcome back! Welcome home... You're one of us, don't forget that! You're so right about the disease... I fight that too, that feeling of "I'm doing so well!" So then you let your guard down a little and... BAM the addiction kicks in and you start to slip. Think of our patterns like a valley that we have dug into the flat ground... Now we're attempting to climb up out of that steep valley, step by step, carefully and slowly... but one misstep and it's a quick and EASY tumble right back to where we started. Don't beat yourself! You're doing so well. It's not starting over... It's just a tumble. Pick yourself up... better yet, let God and us in program pick you up... and keep walking! You are loved.
